That's between him and god, not me

While I watched my husband eat his way to nearly being diabetic and 50 pounds heavier all I could think was why doesn't he listen to me? I remind him not to drink sodas, and please don't drink Monsters, stay away from drive throughs etc and I tried doing it lovingly, or at least what I thought was. 

I was scared to lose him, I didn't want him to have a heart attack.  I was so scared. I was frustrated too because he is an intelligent man and knew the right thing to do. Then one day he decided that eating right and exercising was what he is was going to do. He took his life in his hands, he made the decision and he has been able to reverse the negative health effects of poor diet and no exercise. 

This will be a hard lesson for me to learn. That even though I want him to be healthy, happy and alive :p it's not my decision to make.  It's his and not my responsibility.  How hard is that!  

Holding back

I am holding back from over questioning my husbands choices with his career.  This is my first baby step into the life of being more respectful to him and releasing my imagined control over things I do not fully understand.

The last six words, "things I do not fully understand", that is a major confession and it is a scary one. I honestly do not understand his career, his decisions behind it or money.  How that hurts my pride to admit it and I pray I overcome that.  I never felt the need to get a better understanding and I realize that I want him to have control but my worrying and being scared of the What Ifs of life have made him less of the leader he desires to be.  He just tries to keep me happy and I have failed to be supportive :(

I desire to trust him, he is an extremely intelligent man and strong willed.  He is no follower.  

I desire to have a happier marriage as a result of letting go and following him.

Another confession; he has no idea about this and I hope that with my baby steps to be a proper wife, he will notice the change and be able to make decisions with a clearer mind and lead us.  I fear my own weaknesses has clouded his decisions and made him feel unsure. 

So that's my first couple of confessions and I know there will be more because I'm kind of a spoiled brat and I have no idea how to release my imagined control. 

I just don't want to be the water drip...

Proverbs 27:15

A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day